I Knew I Was Gay When…

I have a friend visiting me from the Netherlands. It has been fun having him aboard and learning more about his country. We were talking about Christmas traditions and he told me that in the Netherlands, Santa Claus comes in November. He arrives by ship from Spain with Black Pete (a throwback from when the Moors controlled Spain) riding a spotted horse. The Netherlands was once part of Spain. Santa Claus is dressed in the red robes of a bishop complete with the mitered hat. Both Santa Claus and Black Pete go to the schools. Each child’s name is called, and the student stands in front of the class while Santa Claus tells all of the bad things the child has done all year (provided by the teacher of course). If they are really bad, Black Pete who is holding a whip made from tree branches threatens to stuff the child into the bag and take him back to Spain. (And I thought the children of America were terrorized by lumps of coal in their stockings.) On December 6th, Santa Claus leaves presents for all the good children and heads back to Spain.

My friend told me that when he was four years old, Santa Claus gave him an electric train set. He was totally uninterested in it, but took the wrapping paper and proceeded to tape together a paper dress with a very long train. He paraded around the house showing off his wonderful creation. Of course his father was devastated that the only train his little son was interested in was the one following his flowing paper dress. The funny thing is, when he grew up, he developed a strong fetish for black men. He attributes that to his early exposure growing with Black Pete and his whip. He might have been the only child in the class hoping to be thrown in the bag and carried back to Spain by big black muscular Pete.